Ugh... its happening. I'm on my road to becoming a grown-up... eeekk!! I;m not so sure about this at all. I know that is for sure my fatal flaw, change. But I can't seem to get over it, or grow out of it for that matter. We are only in the second day of our senior year and the unavoidable topic is "what are you going ot do when you graduate?" For me, I have it pretty much figured out, unless God decides to throw me a curve ball, but my plan is pretty solid - stay in SB and work at TOAST- nothing extreme. However I feel like we are getting glimpses of life outside of college and not going to lie, its a little frightening. Right now I live in an apartment complex that is right up the street from college owned apartments, I live with three girls that graduated from my college, half of my apartment complex is students from my college, my roommates from freshman year live one block over and my guy friends have a house 5mins away. I dread the day we all move away, and we are not able to just walk over and see each other. And I fear that is coming sooner than I think... and I'm kind of freaking out. It hit me this weekend, as a group of us seniors were talking at the welcome bbq, we were sitting there reminiscing about dorm life, and getting to know each other that first year and then we began talking about the coming year. Several girls are already engaged, and we started discussing their upcoming weddings, other girls are discussing grad school and their boyfriends following them where ever they move. For me I find myself overwhelmed with soooo many thoughts.. first, after this year I will no longer be surrounded by people I've known forever. Well, at least for a long time... Luckily I will have my job, and I've known those girls for a little over a year. but many of my other close friends will be moving away. second, I will no longer identify with LA as my home, SB will become my new home and LA will be a place I visit at holidays. third, not having a boyfriend is not a choice i've made for myself... however I am busy so that makes it a little bit better, but its weird to see how differently the life paths we are taking are..... I mean my girl friends are getting MARRIED. its kind of crazy... next thing you know they are going to have CHILDREN... I guess I just cant believe it because I can't even imagine either scenario right now... but in my head I just think before I marry someone I want to have known them for a while... but of course that isn't up to me... I don't know God's plan. So.. right now I'm slightly freaked out, but I'm gonna be ok, and I may be growing up, but I can still love all things childlike or not.
xoxo,
josslynn nicole
